Mazda Courts Jalopnik Readers With Next MX-5, Gets More Than They Bargained For – The Truth About Cars

Mazda Courts Jalopnik Readers With Next MX-5, Gets More Than They Bargained For – The Truth About Cars

Mazda Courts Jalopnik Readers With Next MX-5, Gets More Than They Bargained For

I’m not afraid to admit I’m wrong (however I tend to be right almost every single time without fail. So there.). When I eyed that Mazda had asked Jalopnik readers for their thoughts on the next MX-5, I oscillated inbetween sheer terror (at the prospect of reading a bunch of keyboard jockeys telling engineers how to do their jobs, i.e. every press launch) and total Schadenfreude.

The next MX-5 is more than likely “locked in” past the point of no comeback. Styling, engineering and powertrains are all but locked in, and not a damn thing can be done to switch them, even tho’ the next MX-5 will have to be tweaked a bit to become an Alfa Romeo. That’s a shame. Mazda might be wise to listen to some of the suggestions put up by Jalopnik’s readers.

It turns out that I wasn’t alone in feeling apprehensive. Reader “tobythesandwhich” composed a brilliant satire

Well this can only end badly. Suggestions WILL Include:

-No safety features whatsoever. People don’t indeed hurt/die from car crashes. It’s a government cover up to attempt and control us

-Must have at least 600hp and a turbo AND supercharger

-Must be able to go off road and scale mountains

-Must cost less than $5000. Because everything that costs more than that comes in V6 Mustang territory

-Must get at least 400mpg while maintaining constant aggressive driving

-Must have pop-up headlamps, switch sides opening bondage mask, and give fuck-all about Pedestrian Safety Regulations

-Must have an interior decked out in leather on leather on leather while having a forty thousand watt stereo system that we’ll still end up bitching about because it weighs more than 2lbs

-Must have a Manual Transmission with no less than one hundred Gears. Us Jalops love to shift. And if you even consider suggesting an Automatic for the sake of keeping the model alive I (And the Jalopnik community) swear to god we will kidnap the families of the Designers. Then burn their houses down and fornicate their wives while wearing their slippers and robes.

Feel free to chime in Jalopnik. I know this is what you want.

In the end, most of the suggestions seem to be stiffly grounded in reality, life practice and prior ownership – the kinds of things that auto journalists aren’t usually brimming with, even if they have possessed a Miata or three.

Among the suggestions listed were a la carte optioning (a big yes, as anyone who has attempted to order a CX-5 or Mazda3 can attest to), classic styling and enough room for a 6’Two″ individual, wearing a helmet to clear the “broomstick test”. All of those, plus say, an inch more gam roof (tilt/telescoping wheel perhaps) would go along way to enlargening convenience without making the car much larger or stronger.

Rather than catalog every single good idea, you might as well go and read the thread. My private theory is that Mazda thought they could get some free publicity by “empowering” Jalopnik readers by “engaging in a conversation” about the next MX-5. Then they could promptly disregard all the suggestions, since the car was a done deal, and wait for the praise to roll in. Hopefully there’s still time for them to listen.

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